The Mushroom Journey That Exposed a Secret I Didn't Know Existed

Plant Medicine · Intuition · Relationships

By Julie Cyvonne · Plant Medicine Coach · 7 min read

I'm going to tell you one of the wildest things that has ever happened to me.

And I'm sharing it not because it's a particularly fun story (it definitely wasn't fun when it happened!!), but because it perfectly illustrates something I talk about constantly: mushrooms will always show you what you need to see. Even when you didn't know you needed to see it.

The Setup

When I first moved to San Diego, I started dating someone who was (on paper) a really solid choice. Stable job. Owned property. Part of my friend group. Tall. All the adult scorecard boxes checked.

But there was always something. His soul never fully landed in the same room as mine. He struggled to be present. The emotional depth just… wasn't there. And he had this recurring thing where he'd tell me he was "a bad guy" (el oh el how freaking vague and mysterious but a good reminder to LISTEN when people tell you who they are)

I told myself it was his avoidant attachment style, that I was too anxiously attached, and I ust needed to work on myself. Basically I gaslit TF out of myself.

Sound familiar?

The Journey

After we'd broken up and settled into a confusing almost-friendship-almost-something-else, I went up to L.A. for a full psilocybin ceremony with facilitators I love and trust.

And it was one of the most beautiful trips I've ever had.

I experienced this profound, cellular self-love. Not ego, just pure soul-level acceptance of who I am and how I show up in the world. And then he appeared in my journey, bathed in this completely pure, white light.

Not romantic or complicated. Just friendship. 

I came out of that journey thinking: perfect, we're just friends, beautiful, clarity received.

The Letter — and the Address

Because I'm big on integration, I decided to write him a letter. He was avoidant; written words felt kinder than a face-to-face conversation that might overwhelm him. I wanted to tell him what I'd seen in my journey, that I loved him as a friend, and that nothing could change that.

To send it, I needed his address.

He'd been using my Amazon Prime for years so I logged in to grab it. 

And the shipping address on file wasn't his house.

It was somewhere else entirely in a different neighborhood. This realization, now that I thought about it, lined up perfectly with the three times in recent months he'd mysteriously been unavailable at home, insisted on calling an Uber after a night out, or deflected any reason I might need to drive him back.

The Phone Call

I called him. He didn't answer. When he finally called back, and I asked why he'd been hiding that he'd moved, he said:

"I know. I'm really sorry. I did move and there's actually more I want to tell you."

A few days later, driving to a massage appointment in my mom's convertible, he told me...

He had a girlfriend and they lived together. 

My massage therapist said I sounded like Owen Wilson because all I could say was "Wow."

What the Mushrooms Actually Did

Here's what blows my mind about this whole story:

The journey itself never showed me anything dark. There was no dramatic vision, no red warning light, no message that said "this man is lying to you."

Instead, the mushrooms guided me, gently & lovingly, toward clarity about the friendship, which led me to write the letter, which led me to look up the address, which led to everything unraveling at exactly the right moment. Days before they were set to sign on a house together.

That is the intelligence of plant medicine. It doesn't always hand you the truth in a lightning bolt. Sometimes it walks you toward it, one integration step at a time.

The Question I Want to Leave You With

I weaponized my own anxious attachment against myself for a long time with this person. Every red flag got reframed as my issue to work through. Every gut feeling got overridden by logic, loyalty, or fear of losing something.

So the integration question from this episode is this:

What are you pretending not to know?

What is your intuition quietly telling you that your mind keeps rationalizing away? What truth is already there waiting for you to stop looking past it?

Maybe sit with that one. It's not always comfortable. But it's always worth asking.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode on Spotify — I tell the whole story, unfiltered, including the phone call, the group chat, and what happened when I reached out to her.

👉 The Inner Trip Podcast — Episode: "What the Mushrooms Revealed"